趣味英语:让男人害怕的五个问题
Questions That Put FEAR Into A ManThe5questions that put fear into a man are：
1.What are you thinking about？
2.Doyou loveme？
3.Do I look fat？
4.Doyou think she is prettier thanme？
5.What would you do if I died？
令男人害怕的5个问题是：
1、你在想什么？
2、你爱我吗？
3、我看起来胖吗？
4、你认为她比我漂亮吗？
5、如果我死了,你会做什么？
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrect ly（i.e.,tells the truth）.
使这些问题如此难以回答的是,如果男人回答得不正确（也就是说了真话）,就一定会爆发一场大争论。
As a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible respons es.
作为一项公共服务,下面将对每个问题进行分析,并提供参考答案。
Q uestion 1：What are you thinking about？
问题1：你在想什么？
The proper answer to this, of course, is″I＇msorry if I＇ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have metyou.″
这个问题的正确答案当然是：“很抱歉我出神了,亲爱的。我在想,你是多么温暖、令人愉快、体贴、有同情心、聪明,能遇到你我是多么幸运啊！”
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following：
a.Baseball.
b.Football.
c.How fat you are.
d.How much prettier she is than you.
e.How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
这个回答显然和以下可能真实的答案不沾边：
a.棒球。
b.橄榄球。
c.你是多么胖。
d.她比你漂亮多了。
e.如果你死了,我该怎么花那笔保险金。
Perhaps the best response to this question is″If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking toyou！″
也许,这个问题的最好答案是：“如果我想让你知道我在想什么,我会告诉你的！”
Question2：Do you loveme？
问题2：你爱我吗？
The proper response is″YES！″or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order,″Yes,dear.″Inappropriate responses include：
a.Crap loads.
b.Would it make you feel better if I said″yes″？
c.That depends on what you mean by love.
d.Does it matter？
e.Who,me？
正确答案是我爱你！或者,如果你觉得需要一个更详细的答案,就回答：“我爱你,亲爱的。”不恰当的答案包括：
a.掷骰子吧。
b.如果我说爱你会令你感觉好一点吗？
c.那取决于你的“爱”指什么。
d.这很重要吗？
e.你在跟我说话吗？
Question3：Do I look fat？
我看起来胖吗？
The correct answer is an emphatic″Of coursenot！″
正确答案是斩钉截铁地说：“当然不！”
The incorrect answers are：
a.Compared to what？
b.I wouldn＇t call you fat, but you＇re not exactly thin.
c.A little extra weight looks good on you.
d.Could you repeat the question？I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
不正确的答案如下：
a.和什么比？
b.我不会说你胖,但你也不瘦。
c.你胖点好看。
d.你能重复一下问题吗？我正在想,如果你死了,我该怎么花那笔保险金。
Question4：Do you think she＇s prettier thanme？
问题4：你认为她比我漂亮吗？
The proper response is an emphatic″Of coursenot！″
正确答案是斩钉截铁地说：“当然不！”
Incorrect responses include：
a.Yes, but you have a better personality
b.Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c.Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d.Could you repeat the question？I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
不正确的答案如下：
a.是的,但你人更好。
b.不比你漂亮,但肯定比你瘦。
c.你在她那个年龄时,她不如你漂亮。
d.你能重复一下问题吗？我正在想,如果你死了,我该怎么花那笔保险金。
Question5：What would you do if I died？
问题5：如果我死了,你会做什么？
A definite no－win question.
这是一个回答者永远不会取胜的问题。
WARNING：No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow－up questions, usually along these lines：
警告：不论你怎样回答,请准备迎接至少一个小时的后续问题,这些后续问题通常沿着以下套路发展：
WOMAN：Would you get married again？
MAN：Definitely not！
WOMAN：Why not－－don＇t you like being married？
MAN：Of course Ido.
WOMAN：Then why wouldn＇t you remarry？
MAN：Okay,I＇d get married again.
WOMAN：You would？（with a hurtful look on her face）
WOMAN：Would you sleep with her in our bed？
MAN：Where else would we sleep？
WOMAN：Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her？
MAN：That would seem like the proper thing todo.
WOMAN：And would you let her use my golf clubs？
MAN：She can＇t use them；she＇s left－handed.
WOMAN：（silence）
MAN：Oh（expletive deleted）.
女人：你会再结婚吗？
男人：当然不会！
女人：为什么不呢———难道你不喜欢结婚？
男人：我当然喜欢。
女人：那你为什么不再婚？
男人：好吧,我会再婚。
女人：你会？（她的脸色晴转多云）
女人：你和她会睡在咱们的床上吗？
男人：我们还能睡哪儿？
女人：你会处理掉我的照片,然后摆出她的照片吗？
男人：那么做好像也没什么不对。
女人：你会让她用我的高尔夫球棒吗？
男人：她用不了它们,因为她是左撇子。
女人：（沉默）
男人：哎哟（骂人的话省略）！ 这就是所谓的爱情？婚姻？？
坟墓啊！！
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